What TO text your wife when you are out of town

Not wanting to leave men of the world hanging in the balance, I thought I would name a few things you SHOULD text your wife when you are out of town. To be fair, I ‘m only posting seven because I only got to list seven things you SHOULD NOT text your wife before I was unfairly cut off by a little event that happened at my house.

1. Occupy Philly is nasty. Port a potties everywhere and trash cans overflowing with who knows what. You need a tetanus shot just to walk through there.  Glad you’re safe at home.

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2.   Good morning beautiful!  It’s a beautiful day!

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3. This is my “not fair” face.  I’d rather be there!

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4. An old man that looked like Santa Claus just tried to pick my pocket. I’m glad you and the boys are safe at home.

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5. There’s nothing like being cold, having to pee, and having no Kronor.  Seriously?  I have to pay to use the toilet?

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6. This is one of my family’s favorite rides at MGM Studios.  I miss y’all badly!

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7. The woman who sat next to me (on the plane to London) had the worst body odor, and I had to sit next to her that entire LONG flight!  I almost puked!

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Sincerely,

Wife desiring to clear up any confusion